Self-examination (they made me do it)

Well, I'm at it again, taking another class. This stuff is actually pretty interesting. It's sort of like going to church--they try to break you down and look at your true motives and weak points--the focus is on healing yourself before you take on helping other people. Here is the first class assignment we were given, with my answers.

What attracted you to the helping profession?
When I was 18 I left home to attend college in another state. As I became acculturated and got to know people from diverse cultures, from all parts of this country as well as from around the world, an interest in their individual stories and personalities gradually turned into an interest in people in general and then to a major in Psychology. By the time I graduated, the rigors of academic psychology (which I perceived then as a lack of concern for people as individuals) had turned me away from seeking employment or continuing in the field in graduate school, so I switched majors. My college did not then have any courses whatsoever in counseling or rehab or I might have gone a different direction. Many years later, after trying teaching, foreign student advising, translation, and finally pottery, I have finally decided to go back to my first interest and try counseling.

Who in your life has influenced your decision to consider this role for yourself?
In a large part this re-assessment came from a personal trauma—last year my mother passed away suddenly. All her life she had wanted me to do something “to make the world better” as she put it. So I am giving this a try. And for the past few years I have come to feel that the way to make the world a better place is perhaps not by filling it up with more pottery.

What is your main motivation for wanting to become a helper?
I will be 60 in a few years. As I look around, I see many, many things about our society, indeed about the whole world, that seem to me to be dangerously close to breaking down. Most of my adult life I have swept such feelings under the convenient rug of my busy schedule and work/family time constraints and just refused to get involved or concern myself past the point which would require investment of time from me. However, as I slow down and reflect more, I find there has been a certain amount of repressed guilt all these years. I am now at a place in my life where perhaps I can act on some of these feelings. Easing out of apathy is like moving a huge boulder—it takes a lot of grunting and good work with crowbars but I feel it will be rewarding.

What personal needs of yours are likely to be met through your work as a helper?
I remembered the other day a long-forgotten pre-teen crisis when I felt briefly called to be a minister. The thought was horrifying to me then, and for a few months I remember being panic-stricken, striving hard to push it away. It seems funny now, but perhaps even then I felt a “calling” or a need to help others.

If you pursue a career in one of the helping professions at this time, what would your ideal vision be?
I have not decided at this point in my exploration of “helping” whether to actively seek employment or just to increase my knowledge of the skills needed to help people, perhaps in a volunteer setting. One reason is my age—finding a job when by all rights I should be retiring soon might be problematical.

What kind of work appeals to you?
Recently I took a course on Prevention Programs and I had a Tigger Moment—that’s NOT what I like! Building programs, doing community work, media advocacy, fundraising—no thanks (even though I had a lot of experience in this sort of thing in my Arts Foundation days). I think, should I go on to become credentialed to do so, I would be happiest in a one-on-one treatment or counseling situation.

With what clients would you most like to work?
I have had a lot of experience working with and helping diverse people in many different situations, so I don’t think I am really particular about what sort of client I want to work with. It seems to me that someone who seeks help is first and foremost a human being and other characteristics with which one might try to describe them are secondary.

What kind of human service work would bring you the greatest meaning and satisfaction?
I have chosen to study addictions treatment for two reasons: first, there is some tendency toward alcoholism in my family and I want to learn more about it and secondly because I am excited about recent research expanding our knowledge of the chemical nature of much of human experience—what we call our mind. With PET and SPECT scans revealing clearly the damage psychoactive substances do as well as the greatly increased understanding of the function of neurotransmitters on our everyday moods, I actually think we might be closer than ever to really being able to understand and treat addictions now that fewer people are into the stigmatization and moralization that has characterized the field. Though I cannot see myself at this stage getting the training in neurobiology to really delve into this personally, the field is exciting to me.

What do you think are the main joys and rewards of being a helping professional?
This perhaps sounds trite, but I sleep better at night knowing I have done something that day for someone else, something that was not for my own personal gain. Becoming a professional is an attempt to make the help offered more likely to be effective. I shudder now to think of some of the well-meant but totally silly advice I have given people over the years. These courses are an attempt to fix that.

Is there anything about yourself that you feel might make work in a helping profession difficult for you?
Although for 10-12 years out of graduate school I was pretty deeply involved in activities which were at least peripherally “helping” such as arts organization work, foreign student advising and teaching, some so-called art and music therapy (very amateurish), and volunteer work, for the past 20+ years I have been a self-employed business owner with little time for such things. That has one strong disadvantage for me in that I am out of the habit of working closely with people and deep in the habit of maximizing my own gain.
On a personality level. focusing is sometimes a problem (I am self-diagnosed AD/HD 1- predominately inattentive type) and if not careful I have a tendency to tune out of another’s conversation or to try to finish their sentences when I think I know what they are saying. Need to slow down.
Because I have spent much of my adult life involved in other things, the culture of the helping professions is foreign to me. Even college has changed so much as to be almost unrecognizable to me after 35 years. On the up side I have always been good at learning cultures, so I think I can dig in and start absorbing this one.
Last but not least, I have always had to fight myself to stay humble. I was the “bright child” when little and in my younger days tended to be arrogant and did not suffer fools gladly. I have since learned the hard lesson that I am not at all qualified to judge who is foolish but I still have to work hard to remember this on a daily basis.